I. Life before being diagnosed with aspergers.

From the earliest that I can remember, I was always considered different but didn't know people saw me as different. I just seemed to have troubles getting along with people and came out as rude when I never intended to be rude to anyone. I was missing something, it seemed I couldn't pick up social cues from others when I went too deep into a subject, or I was discussing or doing something that others felt uncomfortable with me doing and were giving social cues that were obvious to everyone but me. I also seemed to display different emotions than others and would smile when we were discussing something tragic (I did feel bad about the tragedy but for some reason smiled when I talked about it), get mad for something that others considered trivial, or be depressed for things that seemed to be insignificant to others. I also seemed to drift into my own little world and be a little too interested in some subjects that would bore everyone else, especially with how much detail I went into learning about a subject. I wouldn't really play with the other kids and when I did, I didn't play along with them, I just went my own way. Prior to school I rarely met others so my differences were never really noticed and when they were, my neighbors, family members, and others figured it was just the way I was and couldn't see anything different about me.
To start this blog, I decided on dividing my life into two sections. Section one (Life before being diagnosed with aspergers) and Section two (life after my diagnosis). In section one I will talk about my life before the diagnosis including my life in Grade School, Junior High School, High School, and the period after graduating from High School until my diagnosis. My diagnosis isn't official but after some pre-screening tests done by my therapist, she has determined that most likely I do have Aspergers Syndrome which is a mild form of autism. Some of the symptoms of Aspergers include troubles socializing with others including difficulties picking up on social cues, a person with Aspergers also may appear to lack empathy when the truth is they do have empathy but have troubles expressing it. It has only been recent that Aspergers has been diagnosed in individuals even though it was reported by Hans Asperger several years ago. A lot of patients are misdiagnosed as being mentally retarded, or with a serious mental illness such as Schizophrenia. This blog is mostly a chronicle of my life with Aspergers but I may add some informative sections to help people who don't have aspergers understand what aspergers is.
I have mixed feelings about my diagnosis with Aspergers. It is great to have some kind of diagnosis that accurately describes my condition. After being diagnosed with several mental illnesses I was starting to think I developed something that has never been seen before. Unfortunately, there really isn't much that can be done with the problems that are caused by Aspergers and most people have never heard of Aspergers so there isn't a public campaign telling people about us. I always wanted to be a normal person and was hoping that I could be "changed to normal" but that isn't possible with Aspergers. Chances are I will be lonely for the rest of my life and even if I was diagnosed at a much earlier age than my late 30s, there is little chance I could have been able to turn my life around and find a woman who would be willing to marry me with all the problems I have plus having Aspergers. People do get married who have Aspergers but it is very hard for someone who is nearly 40, only 5'1" (far too short for women), and suffering emotional scars from my lifetime of dealing with being different than everyone else in addition to Aspergers to find any woman who is interested. The few women I have met have seen me as boring. A lot of people see people with Aspergers spending time alone and assume that we want to be alone. In my case I don't want to be alone all the time and am very lonely. It has been speculated that people such as Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein to name a few may have had Aspergers. A lot of people with Aspergers are talented and are good mathematicians, engineers, Computer Programmers, etc. Some have argued that Aspergers shouldn't be considered an illness and if Aspergers is treated as an illness, it could destroy the talents that people with Aspergers have. It should be mentioned that a lot of people with Aspergers didn't do well in school despite being good in fields such as math.
Junior High
High School
Life after graduation